What did I get into?

I have no idea what I am doing! I hate writing, but I am never going to remember some of these experiences if I don't write them down. I've already forgotten half the things that have happened in my short career as a mother so I'd better get a move on.


First of all, I'd like to get a few things out of the way. Not only do I hate writing, I hate trying to work with a computer, I can't spell, and my grammar and punctuation really, really stink...all things which seem to be pretty important if you want to have a blog. Now that that is out of the way I feel free to make all the mistakes in the world that I want to. Whew!


I semi-remember phonics being taught in the second grade. Some sort of greenish looking plaid book comes to mind. Unfortunately I don't remember receiving one of these books. This is not a joke or meant to be funny. I think my memory is bad, or I have re-written history or something, but I swear they changed the curriculum when I entered the second grade and I never really learned phonics. I have never been able to spell, and I never will. I am thankful for spell check. (I only have two words underlined as incorrect in this paragraph. Not too bad this time!)


My second major issue with English comes from my own stupidity. I never learned to conjugate a sentence (which I can't spell) or what the parts of speech are, etc, etc. I cheated! I copied so much homework from a very smart girl in middle school named Julie. I would go to the bathroom before school and she would let me copy her homework. I remember copying from others as well, but Julie was the smartest. (Sorry to rat you out Julie if you ever read this.) This was a BIG mistake because I have paid for it the rest of my life.  Try telling me that back in middle school though!


In addition to coping this homework, I copied out of the vocabulary homework book as well. This was also a big mistake as I have virtually no vocabulary beyond the sixth grade. Why do people have to use such big words all the time! I sometimes believe my husband uses big words just to fluster me. 


"I will not chew gum in Mrs. Brady's Religion class." I had to write that 1,000 times in either the 6th or 7th grade. Everyone loved Mrs. Brady, but gosh darn it, I blame her for hating writing. I do not believe in writing for punishment because it makes kids hate to write when you just copy a sentence over and over and over.... I will never forget this punishment. I'm pretty sure I was chewing gum less then a week later but I've hated writing ever since.

I took regular High School English classes and did just fine on my own. (Well, according to public school standards.) I still copied some out of the vocabulary book, but for the most part my cheating days were over. I remember writing a paper in 10th grade about the meaning of a Pink Floyd song. The teacher played the song and then we wrote. I don't remember many more papers that year. In fact, I don't remember writing much at all. In the 12th grade we had to learn to write ONE paper at the end of the year, a big, huge five paragraph paper. That paper was a good and bad thing though because I somehow passed the writing test for college and was placed in the real Freshman English class instead of remedial, no-credit English. Oh crap! That was the hardest class and  I spent hours in the writing lab just trying to pass that class. I avoided all classes requiring much writing through college and somehow made it through. Whew! I probably could have used the remedial English...too late now. Thank God!

So, that is the story of why I hate writing and am terrible at spelling, punctuation & grammar. I cheated and chewed gum. My bad.